Ick-sick

I caught a cold — a whopper of a cold — and it’s kicking my butt.
I have tried harder this year than I ever have tried before to avoid illness and apparently, all of the hand-sanitizer, hand-washing and vitamins in the world can’t keep a cold away for an entire winter. I know it’s just a cold, and I’m trying not to be too “moan….I’m sick” about it, but it’s kicking my good-intentioned butt right now.

In other news, the folks I’m buying the house from are just as eager as I am to get this deal to closing so I might close as early as … next week! I’m trying really hard not to get my hopes up too high (and don’t tell my parents if you know them, my dad’s driving me nuts about moving up this closing date and I don’t want to get his hopes up either), but it might just be possible to close before my birthday, which is in eight days. Those of you who follow this blog might remember that closing by my birthday was an original new year’s resolution…made a month before I’d even found this house.
What a gift that would be!

My best friend and his wife are building a pile-o-house-warming stuff in their basement…sort of the ‘we got married and got new stuff, here’s some stuff for your new house’ pile. I’m really lucky to have them in my life.

I’m really enjoying the Olympics…I can’t wait to see how the hockey tournament turns out. It’s so crazy to watch the hockey tournament games and hear all of those names on the same team. It’s like a hodge-podge of crazy talent. What a great game on Sunday! Here’s hoping the rest of this week’s games are equally awesome!

I need to start packing. It seems a little overwhelming, so in typical KLL fashion I’m avoiding it at the moment. Argh. Boxes, boxes… How does one pack books (a library’s worth) so one doesn’t throw one’s back out…or more correctly, so one doesn’t throw one’s father’s back out? I came home last night to a pile of things on my bedroom floor. My mother had been cleaning out the linen closet and came across a pile of things that belong to me. I get the feeling my parents are ready to change the locks if I don’t get this deal done ASAP!

~KLL

Etc...

"Et cetera (in English contexts pronounced /ɛt ˈsɛtərə/) is a Latin expression that means "and other things," or "and so forth." It is taken directly from the Latin expression which literally means "and the rest (of such things)."
The phrase et cetera is often used to delete the logical continuation of some sort of series of descriptions." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Et_cetera)

This past week has been all about the et cetera...

The best way to sum it up is to say "there was a little stress, a little craziness, a little sadness, etc."

I just can't go into the et cetera part right now. I will write about my friend Diana's battle with cancer, what she meant to my family and to me, and how much she will be missed -- but not right now.
I will share this line, which her husband, John, said during her funeral. "You go home tonight and you take the people that you love and you hold them tight."
I'm so sick of seeing cancer win more often than it loses. I'm sick of it.

My home inspection, appraisal, and mortgage application appointments were all held this week. I have one issue that I'm asking the homeowners to fix before I agree to move forward with the purchase, which I expect them to readily agree to as I have agreed to take care of the longer list of smaller issues.
I'm extremely lucky to have my dad and his best friend (dad#2) who are eager(?) to help me with that list. Some of the items are more along the lines of 'things I will need to do if I ever decide to sell the house to another person' as opposed to 'things that must be done before I can move in.'
I'm going to start looking at paint colors and plan to pack a few boxes this week. My hope is that I'll be able to move up the closing date, but for now it is still scheduled to close on March 24.

My nephew, Ethan, is due in less than one month.

I'm completely addicted to the Olympics. I used to love figure skating when I was younger, during the Kerrigan/Harding saga, but I really didn't watch much of the Olympics since that time. The summer Olympics hooked me with the opening ceremony and the sand and indoor volleyball -- never mind the Phelps-mania. Now I've been looking forward to watching hockey (have you seen Canada's lineup?) for about a year...but the remaining sports have snuck up on me. I've been surprised by my interest in the skiing, luge, short-track speed skating, etc.

Like I said, this past week was all about the et cetera...
~kll

Another quick one

Just an update:
I made an offer on the house I love, they owners accepted the first offer I made -- I NEVER saw that coming -- and I applied for a mortgage this morning! Crazy!

Today is such a mixed-emotions sort of day.

My friend Diana died last night. Cancer is a stupid, stupid disease, and I'm sick of saying goodbye to people I love because of cancer. Three deaths, three losses to cancer, in six months.

I can't write more about either of these things today. I just can't process them fully. It's too crazy. Everything always happens all at once, right?

I'll write more when I've had time to actually feel the emotions related to these changes in my life.

~KLL

Quickie

I have been busier than usual this week -- which is really saying something, because my normal is busy -- so this will be a quick post. I really thought I would have time to post every other day when I started this blog exactly one month ago.

House update: My dad's best friend (otherwise known as Dad#2) went with me to see the house this week and, as I suspected, he could find no problems at the house. Dad#2 has built many homes and is better than an official inspector -- although I'll obviously have an official inspection. He can find no problems, I can find no problems...and so, I plan to make an offer on Wednesday around noon. I'm going to play the numbers game a little bit, hoping to tweak the final digits into something manageable for a single-income home.

This whole thing has been a little like a roller coaster. I've been so fixated for the last week and a half, I haven't accomplished much outside of the absolute requirements of my jobs. The rest of my focus has been on preparing for this new stage of my life.

Many of my New Year's resolutions have had to take a step to the left as the biggest resolution --moving into my own home -- takes center stage. I haven't had a single bubble bath ... not quite hitting that one bath every 14 days rule ... I haven't been bowling, I have only finished one book, I have only crossed three movies off of my list ... argh!

But, as one of my best friends is always telling me, I need to take a deep breath, be patient with myself, and take time for relaxation. I'm so excited for this next step, but I do need to live in the now. I keep finding myself thinking 'I can do that once I've moved into the new house.' And that applies to a lot of things. I can read once I've moved and I have a reading nook, I can watch more movies once I've moved into the new house and don't want to pay for cable at first. I can do xyz when I move into the new house... I need to remind myself sometimes that the move isn't happening tomorrow!

I really, really hope the 'offer' is taken the way I anticipate it will be taken and that the end result is a home purchase at a price I can afford. I'm going to ask those of you who pray, to say a little prayer for me on Wednesday around noon.

Thanks! ~kll

Houses...homes...

It seems like two weeks have passed since yesterday morning, so much has happened...at least internally.
Yesterday morning, I was pre-approved for a mortgage as single woman...with no cosigner in sight. Maybe that isn't quite such a big deal these days, but it wasn't that long ago that a single woman wouldn't have gotten an appointment with a mortgage consultant.
Sex and the City is THE television show for many women my age. There is a reason the movie sold out theaters like crazy and the sequel is in the works. For those of you who don't follow the adventures of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte I'll try to 'speak' generally enough that you'll be able to follow along.
Years ago there was a very memorable episode in which Miranda, arguably the most financially responsible and mature woman in the group, decided to purchase an apartment on her own. She was a lawyer, very financially stable, I think she was a partner in the law firm.
She tried to get a mortgage and the mortgage/bank guy was mortified by the idea that she would attempt to purchase a house on her own. "Will your father cosign? An ex-husband? A boyfriend?" And the classic question of the episode was "it's just for you? Just you?" And her stock answer, "Yup, it's just me."
Even Charlotte, her yuppie, rules-minded friend, argued against purchasing a home as a single woman. "It throws off the power structure." There were concerns that Miranda would never find a man if she could so easily prove she didn't really 'need' one.
I had flashbacks to that episode as I walked into the bank Friday morning. I think I was sort of geared up for a fight.
Now, for the financial side of me: I'm INCREDIBLY cheap. I pretty much don't spend money--ever. I've been living with my parents for about a decade. I'm a journalist and we pretty much don't make any money. My best friend, Chris, has been like a financial guru to me from our college days right up until the last bit of advice he gave me about a week ago. I worked really hard to pay off my credit card and my car last fall. I got a much-lower interest loan for my student loan this week and will pay it off about 3 years early (in a best-case scenario).
Apparently, being as stingy as possible translates to a really high credit score and a very quick pre-approval for a mortgage.
I think there may have been a tiny part of me hoping I wouldn't qualify...Sorry Mom and Dad, I have to live here for free forever! Whoops!
I had scheduled a house tour for later that night, but it was for a listing with no photos...and I'm extremely leery of those listings...what are they hiding? As far as I can tell, the house I toured last night is nearly perfect for me. Right price. Right size. Right storage space. Right bathroom space. Right amount of yard. Off-street parking. Hardwood kitchen floor. Appliance inclusions.
Can it really be this easy? Pre-approval in the a.m. house to buy in the p.m.?
Is this the payoff for so many tough years? Am I about to hit my stride? Could that weird little wish to be in my own home by my March 4 birthday, be a reality soon?
This is so not how I envisioned my life turning out when I was a little girl. My career in journalism was something I always knew would happen. But I think I always believed it would be accompanied by a husband and lots of babies. (And a Murphy Brown-sized salary, too...not so much.)
I think I even put off moving out of my parents house, even into an apartment, because on some level I always thought it might be a waste of time. The relationships I had throughout my mid to late 20s always seemed to be 'going somewhere.' So why not wait to move out until the time I would be 'moving-in?'
The last relationship I ended has taught me how silly I've been for so long! This is MY life! MY LIFE.
When I look back on the girl I was, who was waiting for someone to complete her ... I just don't recognize that girl. To be fair, I was never in a financial position before now to purchase a house and ultimately staying at home for so long is what made it possible. But, still I've wasted a lot of time.
Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I'm grabbing life with both hands. I'm grabbing two big handfuls and I'm running with them. They might just be full of paint I can throw on my new walls...
~kll

Under attack!

Today, as I prepared to turn my computer at work off for the night I got an unexpected pop-up window announcing that my computer was under attack!

I have to admit that at first I sort of laughed and kept clicking off of the window because I assumed it was an advertisement of some sort...but apparently it's a spy ware virus that operates by trying to guilt you into 'protecting' your computer by clicking 'yes.' I repeatedly clicked 'no,' but it wouldn't stop. It wouldn't even let me log out of my computer.

It felt a little like a pirate was communicating with me via pop-up window. "Beware, you're under attack...argh matey..."

The best part was that my options were to click yes to install antivirus live or to click the button that read "leave my computer unprotected" ... like this is an option that people want to choose!

I had to yank my thumb drive, so I'm hoping it's not infected or anything. I ran home and changed the password to every one of my Internet accounts just in case.

Now, I'm frantically searching my mind. Did I wander into some Internet vortex today that the IT guys are furiously scrambling to fix? Am I going to get in trouble for accessing my bank account and my facebook account during the work day?
The last site I visited, just to kill time while waiting for things to save to my thumb drive, was awkward family photos dot com or something. I told the IT guy I was only in a few Web sites today that I don't access on a routine basis...argh!

It's scary to be under attack by out of sight Internet pirates! I wonder if anything is left of my hard drive...
~kll

On writing

In my professional life, I'm a newspaper editor, a reporter, a photographer, a paginator, a manager, and chief bottle washer ~ but when you peel all of those layers away, I'm basically just a writer.

I belong to a writer's group in Pittsburgh. We critique each other's work on a mostly monthly basis. The writers in the group are amazing and I'm extremely lucky they let me tag along.

They are so knowledgeable about different aspects of writing, different genres, techniques, etc.

I've known that I wanted to be a writer since I was about five or six years old. I know that sounds ridiculous or impossible, but I have a vivid memory of my father teaching me how to write in cursive and I fell in love with the motion of my hand sweeping the pencil over the page. I never put my notebooks down after that. Watching TV? I would be writing something. Playing with my friend? We had pretend businesses and I was in charge of 'paperwork.'

Storytelling came later. Sitting in the back seat of our van, on the way to our grandparents' homes or maybe on a camping trip, I would stare out the window until I saw something that triggered a story idea and I would amuse myself by spinning tales about whatever I'd seen. People-watching is incredibly important in my storytelling process.
In second-grade, my teacher gave 'awards' to everyone in the class and mine was 'best storyteller.' That was about 25 years ago and I still remember how it felt to claim that prize.

Journalism came a little later. I loved the show Murphy Brown and thought, well...I guess I'll have to be a really important reporter. When I think back on those days, I can't help but laugh at what I assumed my career would be like.
I assumed I would be flown all over the world to cover very important stories, just like Murphy. My college years didn't diminish that expectation very much, I just figured I'd end up at the New York Times one day...(wow, to be 20 again and think those things would come so easily!)

Community journalism came after that.
My first job interview was with a terrifying woman who criticized my college portfolio but praised my spelling. It didn't look good. She brought in an even scarier guy whose first question was 'what is your least favorite form of writing?' I answered scientific and technical -- that class was agony -- and he considered this for a minute before saying 'that's good, most new reporters wouldn't admit that there was any kind of writing they didn't like.' Then he left the room. I overheard the executive editor outside the conference room telling everyone that she finally found someone who could spell...and then she offered me a job.
Three months after graduation from college, I was a reporter with a weekly, community newspaper in a suburb of Pittsburgh.
I spent that first year assuming I would move on to a daily paper in no time...you know, begin that ladder climb. I left for a bi-weekly paper after one year. One month later that paper was closed and I lost my job.
The terrifying lady, who I'd grown to love as a mentor and a friend, gladly took me back. I took a new beat and stayed there, loving my job, for four and a half years. Then I was forced to leave that lovely town and take a neighboring beat. Actually 'beat' is a good word for that job because by the end of my three years there, I felt pretty beat up.
I started questioning my desire to stay in community journalism. I love journalism at the community level and I love weekly papers. I love being the main source of information for a town. I love having the flexibility to cover stories that the dailies don't have room to cover. Did Johnnie catch his first fish? Send me a picture. A second-grade class met their goal of reading 200 books? Let me write that story. Grandma's church group knitted blankets for the poor? Give me a ring!
The world of journalism is having a pretty rough time right now...it's been getting worse since the economy started tanking. As journalists, we all live with the reality that papers can close...at any time and without warning. Last year, our company offered a buy-out and I really considered it. Take the money, use the time off to find a new job...but I just couldn't do it.
When I was at the end of my rope at work, a new opportunity presented itself. An editor in another division of our company did take the buyout. He was the editor in my grandfather's hometown. My mother's hometown. The paper, when I found it, was in horrible shape. It was pretty evident that the former editor had been preparing for retirement for awhile. I felt this surge of enthusiasm for the job again. I sort of begged the boss for the chance to get my hands on that paper and resurrect it. I got that job on May 1, 2009.
It's amazing how loving your job can affect the rest of your life. I love the town I cover now. I love having final say on each week's paper as the editor. I like doing a lot of the photography. I love working with freelancers and teaching them the way I was taught about a decade ago.

Throughout the last 25 years of my life and 10 years of my career, I always assumed I would write a book at some point. It's along the lines of the New York Times assumption...no biggie, I'll just eventually become an author.
That is not how it works.

I'm working on a book, which will be my first full-fledged attempt at a novel, and I realized again this week how lucky I am to be part of this writer's group. I find that when it's time for my piece to be critiqued, these authors are literally saving me from myself. I fall in love with my writing too often. I don't think critically, because I love the story I'm telling at that moment. I'm so glad to have them in my life. I'm so grateful.
I've focused on journalism for so long, I never gained the knowledge about fiction-writing that this group has and is sharing with me. I would love to finish this book and see it go somewhere!

~kll