gratitude

I have been following http://sippiambrose.blogspot.com/ AKA Attitude of Gratitude (A-o-G) for a few years now and about a month ago, he wrote his last post ... at least for a little while.
I'm really hoping he'll return to blogging because he offered something that few people realize they need until they need it. A-o-G is an alcoholic who has been sober for quite a while and his blog incorporates his program following the steps, his gratitude for his sober life, and maybe the world's best quotes to make you think.
I found this blog when my best friend M was searching the Internet for me in hopes of finding some things to improve my mood. She is always right about everything...not in a drive-you-crazy way, but in a why-does-she-have-to-live-in-Japan-when-I-need-her-always-perfect-advice kind of way.
Attitude of Gratitude (A-o-G) found me at a time when I was in love with someone who was also having a 'relationship' with a significantly older, married woman. He also turned out to be an addict ... and so did I.
I turned out to be addicted to his drama without even realizing it. From the moment I met him, he was a person in desperate need of help and I was a person in desperate need of giving help and being needed. It turned out to be a dangerous combination.
A-o-G sort of helped me to 'work the steps' through my own 'addiction' and helped me to understand him in a way that let me let go of him.
It taught me how important it is for addicts to want help and to want a different life. When it came right down to it, he didn't want another life and he didn't want help...he just wanted people to want to help him.
And A-o-G helped me to walk away without looking back. It might sound ridiculous, but the day I decided I was done...I was done. I have absolutely no idea if he's even alive, or living in this state or living in another country -- and it has to be that way for me.
I only bring him up so I can bring up the blog, because I miss it. I miss the daily pearls of wisdom, so I'm going to start re-reading the blog from its inception. That's a solid few years of reading before I hit the point when I joined his journey.
I used to have another blog, which turned into something that was more about my ex and less about me, which I've abandoned.
But at one point, I tried to duplicate A-o-G's efforts and tried to list three things I was grateful for each day.
It was also part of the therapy I took advantage of during the break up, it was my homework to remember three things that were good about each day because there were days that were pretty dark for me and sometimes it was pretty hard to come up with three whole things to be thankful about.
When I instinctively tried to check A-o-G's blog today, it reminded me of how hard I used to try to find something to be grateful for so I could hit my three-a-day minimum.
I can't believe I lived like that!
And that's what this blog is all about. Anything can happen, child...anything can be.
A year ago I was in a dead-end job (excuse the cliche) that I HATED, in an office I despised, working with a handful of people I couldn't handle being around, living with my parents, and basically seeing no way out.
In April 2009, I learned about the job opening for the editor's position and slowly things began to change for me.
On May 1, 2009, I interviewed for and received the editor's position I hold today. On May 1, 2010, I will be living in a house I purchased and am fixing up for myself.
Again, I'm sorry about the cliche, but what a difference a year makes!

Gratitude:
1) I'm so thankful for the sunshine today.
2) I'm grateful for the fun people who work in my office.
3) I'm so excited to see my family this weekend and to maybe get a chance to show off the progress on the house.
Believe me, I could go on and on, but I won't bore you too much today. I'm going to be much more diligent in acknowledging my gratitude before signing off after each post. I owe it to A-o-G, and to M, and to myself to remember that things are oh-so-good these days.
~kll